My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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