I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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