sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
