I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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