Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I supernannyed him into submission
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
