D3 body, D1 cock
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize