Your tits are I can't wait for
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
