I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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