Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
