Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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