Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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