things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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