they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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