I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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