she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
