Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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