She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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