WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
