Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
