It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
