We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
