All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i love accidental penises.
worst night to have a conscience
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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