It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
