Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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