so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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