Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
