I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
