In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
