yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
