i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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