I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
