it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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