Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
