she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In America we eat man semen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
