You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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