roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
