when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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