Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize