life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
