Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
