oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
