Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
