Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
