Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We had to coat check the pizza.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
