they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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