Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
