this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am naked and annoyed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
