I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
