Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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