I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
