we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
