how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
