dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
