it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize