the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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