When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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