Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
