I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
