You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize